Out of Office, Not Out of Touch: Why Smart Leaders Know When to Disconnect

You can’t lead well if your soul is running on fumes.

We don’t talk enough about the value of stepping away. In tech, especially at the leadership level, the grind is romanticized, the hustle is glorified, and the Slack or Teams notifications are eternal. Somewhere along the way, we started treating burnout as a badge of honor. That’s not leadership. That’s just bad modeling.

Here’s the truth: If you’re always “on,” your team feels like they have to be too. And that’s a fast track to a culture where no one can breathe, much less think creatively.

The Myth of Constant Availability

We’ve built this bizarre narrative that leadership equals omnipresence. Be in the meetings. Be on top of the roadmap. Be in the weeds. Be online. Be... exhausted?

Being always available isn’t leadership, it’s control disguised as commitment.

What your team actually needs is a leader who’s present when it matters and wise enough to step away when it doesn’t. A leader who sets boundaries not just for themselves but as a blueprint for everyone else.

Let me be clear: Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.

What Refuels You?

For me, that reset doesn’t happen in a spa or a weekend off the grid. It happens on two wheels, riding my ebike along the coast.

There’s something about the rhythm of the ride, the hum of the motor, and the salt air hitting your face that just clears everything out, noise, stress, tech debris. The water has always been that place for me. Calming. Grounding. A reset button with a view.

I’ve started capturing some of those rides with my GoPro, not because I’m building a biking influencer career (though hey, never say never), but because I wanted to remember what peace looks like and the sound of a silent mind. And maybe show other leaders what it can look like, too.

If you're curious, I put together a short video of one of my recent rides. No narration.

No productivity hacks. Just movement, water, sunsets and headspace.

👉 Watch the Video Here https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOT-NU7CSgz/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=ZGtrZ3QybGp5YnMz

This Is What Disconnection Actually Looks Like

Let’s define “disconnect” in practical terms, because let’s face it, most leaders are terrible at it. Here’s a cheat sheet:

• Turn off Slack, Teams, Email notifications (yes, all of them).

• Block time on your calendar like you would for a board meeting however this one’s just for you.

• Set expectations with your team: “I’m unplugging for a bit to reset. I trust you’ve got it handled.”

• Don’t sneak back in to check email “just in case.” You trained your team—let them do their jobs.

• Go somewhere your brain can breathe, for me, that’s a long ride by the water or anything to do with it.

Be intentional about disconnecting. Practice what you preach when we talk about sustainable teams, psychological safety, and healthy cultures. That starts at the top.

Reset Leaders Lead Better

Here's the kicker: when you come back after a true reset, your brain works better. Your instincts sharpen. You have more patience for coaching, more creativity for solving problems, and more vision for what’s next.

You're also a lot less likely to blow up in a code review because someone used the wrong naming convention, or introduced yet another bug into production.

Good leadership isn’t about being perpetually connected. It’s about being connected to the right things: your values, your team, your health, and yes, your soul.

You’re Not That Important (And That’s a Good Thing)

Let’s squash the ego trip for a moment. If your org can’t function without you for 48 hours, you don’t have a hero problem, you have a systems problem.

Building resilient teams means giving them room to breathe and trusting them to figure things out without you. Your ability to step away is a sign of leadership maturity, not weakness.

Besides, your team is watching. If you never take a break, they’ll assume they can’t either. If you don’t set boundaries, they won’t either. Burnout rolls downhill. So does permission to rest.

Final Thought: No One Wins a Burnout Badge

The world isn’t going to fall apart because you missed a sprint planning meeting. But your ability to lead will deteriorate if you never stop sprinting.

Take the ride. Watch the waves. Shoot a GoPro video just for yourself. Feed your soul so you can show up with energy that inspires rather than exhausts. The best engineering leaders I know aren’t just technically sharp, they’re emotionally sustainable.

You can’t refactor a tired brain. So log off, breathe deep, and remember: you’re out of office, not out of touch.

Share the interesting ways you disconnect in the comments.